How to choose an executive coach

Anyone can call themselves a coach. There’s no license, no exam, and no one checking. That’s not a reason to avoid coaching. It’s a reason to choose carefully, because the difference between a good coach and a mediocre one is the difference between a year that changes things and an expensive habit of talking. Coaches are a bit like chiropractors and therapists: a great one can change a lot, and plenty aren’t great. But if you find a good one they can help push you into action, overcome limitations, provide accountability and help you achieve your goals.

Here’s what I’d look for if I were hiring one.

They’ve done something besides coach

Coaching is a skill, and it can be learned. But the coaches who help most usually bring something from before: they’ve run a business, led a team, sold something, failed at something. When you tell them it’s hard, they know which kind of hard.

Ask: What did you do before this, and how does it show up in how you coach?

They have high EQ and you feel understood, seen and listened to

This is harder to quantify, and it’s more of a feeling than anything else. To put it another way, you feel like they “get you.” Perhaps it’s their intuition or style, but in their presence, you are willing to be open, vulnerable and tell them what’s really going on. Coaches with high levels of emotional intelligence will listen to what you say, and to what you are not saying as well. Sometimes what isn’t being discussed or mentioned is the deeper issue.

The first call is about you, not them

A good first conversation feels useful even if you never book again. You should leave with at least one thing you hadn’t seen before. If the call was mostly a tour of their credentials and packages, that tells you how the sessions will go.

They’ll tell you if you’re not a fit

This is the one I’d weigh most. A coach who takes everyone isn’t choosing, and a coach who isn’t choosing isn’t paying close attention. You want someone who will say, in the first thirty minutes, “I’m not the right person for this, and here’s who might be.”

Ask: Who isn’t a good fit for you? If the answer is “everyone can benefit,” keep looking.

They do more than ask questions

Questions matter. The right one at the right moment is worth more than an hour of advice. But some coaches hide behind them. When you’re stuck, you want someone who will also tell you what they see, offer a tool, or work the problem with you. And then leave the decision with you.

Ask: What do you do when I’m stuck and your questions aren’t getting me unstuck?

They can tell you how you’ll know it’s working

Not a guarantee of outcomes. Nobody honest can promise you a promotion or a funding round. But they should be able to describe what usually changes and roughly when: what the first few sessions feel like, what’s different after a month, what’s different after a few.

Chemistry counts more than you’d think

You’re going to tell this person things you haven’t said out loud. If something feels off on the first call, trust that. You don’t need to like them the way you like a friend, but you need to trust them enough to be honest. Otherwise you’ll spend the sessions performing progress instead of making it. If I feel I don’t “click” with someone, I will kindly tell them I think there is a better fit for them. And then I will try to find that person for them.

A few things that you should notice

• They promise specific results (“double your income in 90 days”).
• They push you to commit to a long package on the first call.
• They talk more than you do.
• They can’t explain their approach in plain language.
• They seem more interested in closing than in understanding you.

The short version

Pick someone who has done more than coach, who asks good questions and will also say what they think, who would tell you if they weren’t right for you, and who you’d trust with the real version of your problem.

If you want to see how I’d answer these questions, the first call is free and thirty minutes. And if I’m not the right person, I’ll tell you. Book a free call →